


Are We Too Wounded Now To Ever Come Down?

by xLoveMx



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fighting, What else is new, Widojest - Freeform, beau and yasha being badasses in the background, caleb is soft for jester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23545423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLoveMx/pseuds/xLoveMx
Summary: When Jester went down, Caleb’s brain short circuited.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 4
Kudos: 126





	Are We Too Wounded Now To Ever Come Down?

**Author's Note:**

> This one is based off a prompt I saw in the widojest tag, because who needs their heart anyways?!

When Jester went down, Caleb’s brain short circuited.

It wasn’t the first time either of them had gotten hurt, and usually it was him that went down, but things had changed ever since they had lost Molly. They had lost some of their cockiness, at least when it came to battle, and the immediate worry that hit him like a wall was threatening to overtake his senses and send him straight into insanity.

Three firebolts came shooting from the glove he was wearing, hitting the creature in the chest and pushing it at least 20 feet away from Jester, and then Caleb was running.

“I got this!” Beau was yelling from mid-air, her staff raised high up in the air to take care of whatever will to fight that creature still had left.

Caleb sunk down to his knees next to Jester, adrenaline still coursing through his veins. There was blood from where the creature had gotten to her with its claws, and he couldn’t tell if there was more than one wound, because there was just too much blood. The front of her shirt was torn apart almost entirely, and Caleb still wasn’t able to process the whole thing.

Was she even still breathing?

“Jester…” His voice was quiet and breaking at the edges, it didn’t even really sound like his own as he reached down to touch her. “Jester…” It seemed like her name was the only thing that made sense at the moment and Caleb could feel his hands shaking as he held on to her. He didn’t even notice the tears until they began blurring his vision.

Life hadn’t made sense before Jester had come along. Nott had given him the will to live, surely, but with Jester life was a little less horrible than he had always made it out to be. She said the most ridiculous things at times, making him laugh even when it was the last thing he wanted to do, and then she took his hand and pulled him along to look at something in the next shop window, or bought him smut books that she ended up reading herself.

Slowly, Caleb had wanted to start living again, not for himself, but for her, and then just so he could see her smile at him and hear the way she pronounced his name so differently than anyone else.

They couldn’t lose another one.

No, _he_ couldn’t lose _her_.

“Caleb, catch!” Fjord’s voice pulled him from his thoughts and he almost dropped the healing potion his friend had thrown at him. His hands were still shaking as he uncorked it, and then poured it into Jester’s mouth.

The blood was pounding in his ears as he held onto her, his entire body shaking at this point.

She couldn’t be dead.

The moments of Molly’s death flashed before his eyes. The surprised look in his friend’s eyes as he went down, Lorenzo’s words echoing in his ear, Caleb not even paying attention to the barbarian coming his way, eyes fixed on Molly and the way the sword had just been pushed into him.

Caleb had known that he was dead before they had even made it to him.

“Cay-leb? Why are you crying?” Jester’s voice pushed through the fog in his brain and he managed to blink the tears away, looking down at her. She was still bloodied and bruised, but her eyes were open, and she was looking up at him almost curiously.

“Jester,” his voice was quiet, and his hands were still shaking, unable to let go of her. Somewhere in the background Beau was cheering on Yasha, who was in the process of finishing off the creature. 

“I’m alright, Caleb. No need to cry.” Her voice was almost cheerful, and if it hadn’t been for all the blood and the torn clothes one could have almost thought that this was a normal conversation held in a tavern, not on the battlefield.

“Ich dachte du wärst…” His voice broke again, and he shook his head, as if to get rid of the terrible thoughts in his head. “Why didn’t you get out of the way? I didn’t…Ich konnte nicht…” His brain still wasn’t functioning right, the cold grip of fear still clawing into his chest.

“Caleb…” Jester’s voice was quiet now, and he could see the way her bottom lip trembled. “I’m sorry…” There were tears pooling in the corner of her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks. “I didn’t…I was fine, and I wanted to make sure it didn’t get to Caduceus,”

Caleb had seen their cleric go down as well, but Nott had already been on her way to him, making sure to administer a healing potion if necessary.

Deep down he understood her reasoning for doing what she had done, and not being able to get out of the way in time, because it was what they did. They were friends, they put their lives on the line for each other.

Much like he had run across the battlefield to get to her, even though the creature had still been raging. Only that he felt a lot more for Jester than friendship. Caleb wasn’t even sure there was a word for what he felt when he looked at her. Not even in Zemnian.

“I’m sorry…” She was crying now, arms wrapping around him and he could feel her body shaking.

Caleb just held on to her for a moment, feeling the way her chest moved against his own as she breathed. “Don’t…don’t cry…” he muttered, burying his face against her hair, just taking in the familiar smell that he usually only got a whiff of whenever she leaned over his shoulder to see what he was reading and if she could steal a book to draw into it.

He’d let her draw into any of his books, Caleb realized. If she asked, he’d let her do whatever she wanted.

“Just…don’t ever do that again, okay?” It was a useless promise with all the trouble they always got themselves into, he knew as much, but he had to hear her say it anyway, for his own sanity.

“Okay.” Jester piped up from where she was still pressed against him, before pulling back ever so slightly, using one hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “You look pretty awful,” She then added, and there was a hint of a smile pulling at her lips.

“Ja? Well you should look at yourself in the mirror,” Caleb replied, and then almost laughed as Jester swatted at him with her hand. “Hey, you started it,” He added, and then his heart missed a beat, because Jester’s hand had reached out to brush the remainder of the tears from his cheeks.

From somewhere across the field Beau was yelling “Get a room you two!” probably as a revenge for the countless times they had said it to her, and then Jester was laughing, though her hand still rested against Caleb’s cheek, making his heart beat just a little bit faster in his chest.


End file.
